A dictionary of slang - "T" - English slang and colloquialisms of the UK.

24/7	Noun. All the time. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
ta!	Exclam. Thank you! {Informal}
tab	Noun. 1. Abb. of tablet. Drug culture expression. 2. A cigarette. 3. Ear. See 'tab-hang'. [dialect]
tab-end	Noun. A cigarette butt.
tab-hang	Verb. To eavesdrop. Heard as tab'ang. E.g."Stop tabhanging, and get on with your homework." See 'tab'. [Northern use/dialect?]
table-ender	Noun. An act of copulation on or at a table.
tackle	Noun. The male genitals. Implying their usefulness as equipment to complete a task. Cf. 'wedding tackle.'
tacky	Adj. Of poor taste, lacking style. {Informal}
tactical chunder	Noun. A bout of vomiting, self-administered to enable one to drink more alcohol. A pun on the expression tactical blunder. See 'chunder'.
tadger	Noun. A penis. Usually affectionate usage. Cf. 'todger'. [1950s]
Taffy	Noun. A Welsh person. Usually offensive. Derived either from the Welsh Dafydd, an equivalent name for David, or the River Taff. Also abbreviated to Taff.
tag	Noun. A pseudonym or other identifying mark used as a signature by a graffitti artist.
tagnuts	Noun. Faecal remnants that adhere to anal hairs.
tailor-made	Noun. A factory produced cigarette, as opposed to a hand-rolled cigarette.
taint	Noun. The perineum. Something of a pun, because it aint the anus, and it aint the vagina or balls.
take a chill pill	Vrb phrs. To relax. See 'chill pill'.
take a dive	Vrb phrs. To feign a foul or knockdown in sports.
take a hand to someone	Vrb phrs. To tease, ridicule. Also make a hand. [Irish use]
take a hike	Vrb phrs. To depart. Usually a demand by someone.
take a pop at (someone)	Vrb phrs. To verbally or physically attack (someone). Also phrased as 'have a pop at (someone)'.
take a running jump!	Exclam. A dismissive rebuff.
take it easy	Vrb phrs. 1. Goodbye, a parting salutation. 2. Relax, don't get stressed.
take it up the arse/ass	Vrb phrs. To be on the receiving end of anal sex. E.g."He took it up the arse and couldn't sit down for three days after."
take five	Verb. Have a brief rest or respite from one's current activities.
take the biscuit	Vrb phrs. To beat all competition, to take all the honours, usually said ironically or with surprise. {Informal}
take the Michael (out of someone)	Vrb phrs. To make fun, tease, satirize. From 'take the mickey'. E.g."I dont like John, he's always taking the Michael out of me."
take the mickey (out of someone)	Vrb phrs. To tease, to ridicule. Also shortened to take the mick. An abbreviated form of the Cockney rhyming slang take the mickey bliss, meaning 'take the piss'. E.g."Stop taking the mickey out of Billy, he's very sensitive and you're upsetting him." Cf. 'take the Michael' and 'extract the Michael'. [1930s]
take the piss	Vrb phrs. 1. To ridicule, to tease, to make fun off. Cf. 'extract the urine'. 2. To take advantage of, to exploit. E.g."Just because they like looking after their grand children, doesn't mean you can dump the kids on them every weekend whilst you go out clubbing. That's just taking the piss."
talent	Noun. An attractive person or persons.
talk out of one's arse	Vrb phrs. To talk nonsense. E.g."You're talking out of your arse if you think you can beat the British champion at chess."
talk the hind leg off a donkey	Vrb phrs. To talk incessantly. {Informal}
tally-ho!	Exclam. Goodbye, a cheerful parting salutation.
tallywhacker	Noun. Penis.
tandoori two-step	Noun. Having diarrhoea and an upset stomach.
tank	Verb. To travel rapidly, to charge at great speed. E.g."We tanked it up from London, just in time to watch the football match."
tanked (up)	Adj. Drunk and in a state rowdiness. E.g."He was tanked up on strong cheap cider and looking for a fight." [Early 1900s]
tanorexia	Noun. An obsession with unnatural skin tanning. A pun on anorexia nervosa, and originally used by psychologists and dermatologist's. Also the adjective tanorexic, being characterized by having an extremely unnatural skin tan.
tap off	Verb. To seduce a sexually desirable person.
tapped	Adj. Insane or a mentally unstable. From doolally tap. Cf. 'doolally'.
ta-ra!	Exclam. Goodbye! Cf. 'ta-ta'. [Welsh/Midlands/Northern use, 1950s] {Informal}
tara-a-bit!	Exclam. Goodbye! Also t'ra a bit and other possible spelling variations. [Birmingham/West Midlands use]
tart	Noun. 1. A prostitute or promiscuous woman. The often unisexual nature of contemporary slang ensures the phrase is now applied to promiscuous males. Derog. 2. Derog. and offensive term for women. Derived from the Cockney rhyming slang jam tart meaning sweetheart. 3. An objectionable person; often used affectionately or playfully. 4. A person who will prostitute their abilities or themselves for any amount of gain.
(the) Tartan Army	Noun. Collectively, the supporters of the Scottish national football team.
tart fuel	Noun. Sweet, ready-mixed fruit drinks containing alcohol. Commonly believed to be mainly consumed by women who would become morally loose after an excessive consumption, consequently becoming 'tarts'. Cf. 'alcopop' and 'bitch piss'.
tart up	Verb. To smarten up. {Informal}
tash	Noun. Abb. of moustache. {Informal}
...tastic	Suffix. Added to words to imbue a sense of unexpected excellence. E.g."She took me back to her room and we had a sextastic night."
tasty	Adj. Attractive.
tat	Noun. 1. Rubbish, junk. Abb. of tatty. E.g."You can't wear that old cardigan, it's tat." {Informal} 2. Abb. of tattoo.
ta-ta!	Exclam. Goodbye! Cf. 'ta-ra'. [Early 1900s] {Informal}
taters	Noun. Potatoes. A corruption of the word potatoes. {Informal} Adj. Cold. From the Cockney rhyming slang taters in the mould (potatoes in the mould). E.g."It's a bit taters in hear. Shall I light the fire?"
tax	Verb. To rob a person in public by the use of, or threat of aggression, to extort, to mug. A euphemism attempting to obscure the aggressive nature of such an assault. Came to prominence during the early 1990s.
t'd off	Adj. Angry, annoyed.
tea-bagging	Noun. The oral manipulation and sucking of testicles during sex; a tea-bagger being a person who indulges in said activity.
tealeaf	Noun. Thief. Cockney rhyming slang.
tear-arse about / around	Verb. To hurry about, hinting at frantic haste. E.g."I've been tear-arsing about from one meeting to the next and without a break all day."
tear-jerker	Noun. A film or story likely to be over sentimental and promote tearful emotions. {Informal}
tea towel holder	Noun. The anus.
technicolour yawn	Noun. An act of vomiting. Jocular usage. [Orig Aust. 1960s]
techno	Noun. A type of electronically created dance music.
teenth	Noun. Drug parlance for a sixteenth of an ounce.
telephone numbers	Noun. Very large amounts, usually applied to money. E.g."So what price are you going to charge for the full service? Are you talking telephone numbers?"
tell someone where to get off	Vrb phrs. An angry rebuke at someone's interference. E.g."If she mentions my acne once more I'll tell her where to get off.'
telly	Noun. Television. {Informal}
ten-foot	Noun. A narrow alleyway behind a row of homes. From its width being 10 feet in diameter. [East Yorks/Hull use]
tenner	Noun. A ten-pound (sterling) monetary note. {Informal}
tex mex	Noun. Marijuana. [Probably orig. U.S.]
Thames trout	Noun. A lump of excrement. From when the River Thames was very poluted. [Mainly London use]
thang	Noun. Thing.
thanks a bunch!	Exclam. An ironic thank you very much.
thanks for nothing!	Exclam. An exclamation of annoyance at someone's unhelpfulness.
thatch	Noun. Pubic hair.
that's the stuff	Phrs. Said as an approval of a thing done or said. {Informal}
thick as a brick	Phrs. Very stupid.
thick as pig shit	Phrs. Very stupid. Also thick as pig shit.
thick as shit in the neck of a bottle	Phrs. Very stupid
thick as two short planks	Phrs. Very stupid.
thick ear	Noun. A slap around the head, often used as an idle threat. E.g. "If you don't come down here and do the washing up, I'll give you a thick ear." {Informal}
thicko	Noun. An stupid, unintelligent person. Derog.
thingy-ma-bob	Noun. A something whose name escapes one. Also a thing-ma-jig. Cf. 'oojah'. {Informal}
this arvo	Phrs. This afternoon. [Orig. Aust.]
this avvy	Phrs. This afternoon. E.g."I'm off up town this avvy. Do you fancy coming along?"
Thora (Hird) *	Noun. A lump of excrement. Verb. To defecate. E.g."I wouldn't go in the toilet if I was you, I've just had a Thora." * Rhyming slang on 'turd'. Thora Hird, veteran British actress, died in 2003.
thrap	Verb. To masturbate Noun. An act of masturbation. E.g."He's in his bedroom, having a good long thrap over a new porn mag."
thrape	Verb. 1. To hit, to beat, to thrash. [Midlands use/Dialect?] 2. Usually of vehicles, to race, to go at speed. E.g."I thraped the car up the motorway and arrived in record time." [Midlands use]
thrash	Noun. A type of fast raw rock music derived from 'punk'.
thrash metal	Noun. Similar to 'thrash' but having a more 'heavy-metal' slant.
threads	Noun. Clothes.
threepenny bits	Noun. Women's breasts. Rhyming slang on 'tits'. Also thrupenny bits. Cf. 'thrups'.
three sheets to the wind	Phrs. Drunk, very intoxicated. E.g."She was three sheets to the wind and still downing gin and tonics quicker than they could pour them."
threesome	Noun. An act of sex between three people, a menage a trois.
throat yogurt	Noun. Semen. Also spelt throat yoghurt.
throne	Noun. The lavatory, the toilet.
throw	Verb. 1. To vomit. A shortening of 'throw up'. 2. To intentionally or by one's own foolishness, lose a game. {Informal}
throw a benny	Vrb phrs. Have a tantrum, a fit of anger. E.g."If you don't want to see Ted throwing a benny, then don't drop litter on the street."
throw an eppy	Vrb phrs. Have a fit of anger. Derived from epilectic fit. See 'eppy'. E.g."After losing the final game of the season he threw an eppy and resigned from the team management."
throw a sickie	Vrb phrs. Falsely claim to be ill, usually to avoid work.
throw a whitey	Vrb phrs. To feel like vomiting, derived from the action of losing all the colour in one's face prior to being sick.
throw a wobbly	Vrb phrs. Become very angry. Also throw a wobbler and chuck a wobbly. E.g." He threw a wobbly when he found her having sex with the plumber on the kitchen floor."
throw up	Verb. To vomit. {Informal}
thrupenny bits	Noun. See 'threepenny bits'. Thrupenny Bits - also the title of The Hampton Cobbler's original, cheeky and addictive punk rock football song.
thrups	Noun. Women's breasts. Shortening of thrupenny bits, rhyming slang on 'tits'. See 'threepenny bits'.
thrutch	Verb. To fidget, to be restless. E.g."I got no sleep at all with you thrutching about all night." [Northern use /Dialect?]
thunderthighs	Noun. 1. A person with fat or very bulky legs, usually applied to women. 2. Fat or large legs.
thunderbox	Noun. A toilet.
tick	Noun. 1. Credit. Often heard in the phrase on tick. E.g."I can never save money, so always buy electrical goods on tick." {Informal} 2. A moment, a second. E.g."I'll be with you in a tick." {Informal}
tickled pink	Adj. Very pleased.
tick off	Verb. To reprimand, to tell off. E.g."If you keep ticking me off then I'll go home early and then you'll be sorry." {Informal}
ticked off	Adj. Angry, annoyed.
tickety-boo	Adj. Fine, all right, in order. E.g."Yes indeed, everything is just tickety-boo, I've never felt better."
ticking off	Noun. A reprimand. E.g."I got a right ticking off from the headmaster, and he's going to tell my mum aswell." See 'tick off' (verb)
tiddly	Adj. 1. A little drunk. {Informal} 2. Small. {Informal}
tidy	Adj. Good, satisfactory. Common use in Wales. E.g."It was a tidy party, but I've got a terrible hangover now."
tight	Adj. 1. To be frugal or not generous. {Informal} 2. Drunk. {Informal}
tight-arse	Noun. A mean, selfishly frugal person.
tight-arsed	Adj. Mean, stingy.
tight as a duck's arse	Phrs. Miserly, very mean. Cf. 'tight as a gnat's chuff'.
tight as a gnat's chuff	Phrs. Extremely frugal, very miserly. See 'chuff'.
tightwad	Noun. A miserly person, a mean person.
Tim	Noun. A supporter of Celtic Football Club, a Glasgwegian based team with a Catholic following, hence Tim also referring to Catholics. Cf. 'hun'. [Mainly Glasgow use]
time	Noun. A prison sentence. Serving one's time, or doing time.
(the) time of the month	Noun. A euphemism for a woman's menstrual cycle.
tin bath	Noun. A laugh, often in the sense of ridiculing, hence often heard as "you're having a tin bath mate!", meaning "you're having me on and can't be serious". Cockney rhyming slang, from Cockney's pronunciation of bath as barf, so rhyming with laugh (pronounced larf). [London use]
tinkle	Noun. 1. An act of urination. Much accepted expression, less vulgar than 'widdle.' [Orig. U.S.] 2. A phone-call. E.g."I'll give you a tinkle at the weekend." {Informal}.
tinnie	Noun. A can of beer. [Orig. Aust.]
tip	Noun. 1. A style, manner. E.g."That tune was very much on an operatic tip." 2. An untidy place, a mess. E.g."Will you tidy your bedroom please, it's a right tip and there's dirty clothes still on the floor from two weeks ago."
tip it down	Verb. To rain heavily. E.g."It's been tipping it down for 40 days and nights."
tip off	Verb. To give information secretly. Noun. An act of revealing secret information.
tit	Noun. 1. A woman's breast, usually applied in the plural, as tits. 2. An imbecile, an objectionable person. 3. A push-button. E.g."Come on, hurry! Push the tit, we're running out of time - fire evrything we've got at them!" [Orig. Military use]
tit about / around	Verb. To waste time, to mess about. E.g."Stop titting around and get on with your work."
tit boring	Adj. Very boring, tedious.
titch	Noun. A nickname for a small person.
titchy	Adj. Tiny, small, insignificant. {Informal}
titfer	Noun. A hat. Cockney rhyming slang from tit for tat.
tit-head	Noun. An idiot, a despicable person.
tits-up	Adj. See 'go tits-up'.
tit wank	Noun. A form of masturbation whereby the penis is sandwiched and rubbed between a female's breasts (See 'tit'). Cf. 'soapy tit wank'.
tizzy	Noun. A confused, flustered state. E.g."She was all emotional and in a tizzy." {Informal}.
toast	Verb. To sing one's own lyrics over a vocaless backing track. From reggae and originating in the West Indies.
toby jug	Noun. A fool, a gullible person. Rhyming slang on 'mug'. See 'mug'.
tod	Noun. See 'on one's tod'.
toddle off	Verb. To casually leave. {Informal}.
todger	Noun. A penis. A variation on 'tadger'.
todger dodger	Noun. A lesbian. From, avoiding (dodges) contact with the penis (todger). See 'todger'.
to do	Noun. A fuss, a fracas. {Informal}.
toe-jam	Noun. The dirt that collects between one's toes.
toe-job	Noun. An act of licking/sucking a person's toes, usually for sexual gratification.
toe-rag	Noun. A contemptible or worthless person. From the cloth that was worn around one's feet as a sock, usually by vagrants. [Mid 1800s]
toff	Noun. A member of the wealthy upper classes.
toffee-nosed	Adj. Snobbish. Derog.
togger	Noun. Football. Generally adolescent/juvenile use.
togs	Noun. Clothes. {Informal}
toilet	Noun. A thing or place that is considered dirty, squalid or unkempt. E.g."Have you seen the state of Pete's kitchen? I'm not going to his for dinner, it's a toilet."
toke	Verb. To smoke a 'joint', or marijuana cigarette. Noun. A drag on a cigarette or 'joint'.
toley	Noun. A lump of excrement. Also spelt toly and tolli. [Orig. Scottish]
tom	Noun. 1. A prostitute. A London term nationally known due to its use on police dramas such as The Bill. 2. Jewellery. From the rhyming slang, Tom Foolery. Verb. To work as a prostitute.
Tom and Dick	Noun. Sick. Rhyming slang.
Tom, Dick and Harry	Noun. Anybody, any person regardless of specifics. E.g."Next time lock the door! Any Tom, Dick and Harry could have walked in here and stolen my money."
tommies	Noun. Tomatoes.
tomming	Noun. 1. Out seeking sex, being sexually promiscuous. 2. Working as a prostitute.
tommy	Noun. 1. Tomato. E.g."You know what this salad is lacking? Tommies! " 2. A British soldier, usually a private. {Informal}
tommy K	Noun. Tomato ketchup.
tommy-rot	Noun. Nonsense, rubbish. E.g."Don't believe a thing he says, he's talking absolute tommy-rot!"
tommy sauce	Noun. Tomato ketchup.
tommy (tank)	Noun. An act of masturbation. Rhyming slang on 'wank'.
tomtit	Noun. An act of defecation. From the rhyming slang for 'shit'.
ton	Noun. The figure of one hundred, usually applied to the speed of 100 mph or a sum of �100.
tongue	Verb. To perform cunnilingus.
tonk	Verb. 1. To hit or kick hard. E.g."He tonked the football into the opposition's half of the pitch." 2. To have sexual intercourse. 3. To travel with speed and power. E.g."I'm going to tonk it up the motorway tonight so that I can get to Newcastle before morning." Adj. Big, large. [Mainly London use]
tonking	Noun. A thorough beating, a severe defeat. E.g."The England team gave Germany a good tonking - final score 5-1."
tonky	Noun. A condom. [Merseyside use]
tonsil hockey	Noun. Passionate, deep kissing. Cf. 'tonsil tennis'.
tonsil tennis	Noun. Passionate, deep kissing. Cf. 'tonsil hockey'.
toodle-oo !	Exclam. Goodbye! {Informal}
tool	Noun. 1. A penis, implying its supposed usefulness. [1200s] 2. An idiot, a contemptible person.
tool-up	Verb. To arm oneself, usually with a gun.
tooled up	Adj. Armed, carrying weapons.
Toon Army	Noun. Collectively the supporters of Newcastle United Football Club. Toon meaning town in the Geordie dalect. See 'Geordie'.
too right!	Exclam. I agree! An exclamation of aggreement.
toot	Verb. Originally to snort drugs but now also smoking. Noun. 1. The inhalation, via the nose, of an illicit powdered drug, such as cocaine. 2. A smoke. 3. Rubbish, junk, trash. 4. Nonsense, drivel, gibberish.
toothing	Noun. Sex between strangers, after having been arranged via the mobile phone (cell phone) using Bluetooth technology.
tootsies	Noun. Toes.
top	Verb. To kill. E.g."He took a full bottle of pain-killers and topped himself." Adj. Excellent, 'sorted'. [Orig. Manchester use]
top banana	Noun. The leading person, the boss. [Orig. U.S.]
top bollocks	Noun. A woman's breasts.
top dog	Noun. The leader, boss.
top one	Adj. Excellent, expressing that something is the best.
topper	Noun. An exceptional thing or person. Dated expression.
top totty	Noun. Very attractive woman, or women.
top whack	Phrs. The maximum price or rate. Cf.'full whack'. {Informal}
torch	Verb. To set alight.
tortoise	Noun. See 'have a tortoise'.
tosh	Adj. Rubbish, nonsense. {Informal}.
toss	Noun. 1. Rubbish, nonsense. E.g."That play was toss, we should have gone to the cinema instead." 2. An act of masturbation. Verb. To masturbate.
tossbag	Noun. A contemptible or worthless person.
tosser	Noun. An idiot, a contemptible person. Also, occasionally spelt tossa.
tossing	Adj. An intensifier. E.g."I'm not doing the tossing washing up, it's your turn!"
toss off	Verb. To masturbate. Term applied to males. E.g."He's been tossing himself off for last 2 hours, whilst watching Miss World." [1700s]
toss-pot	Noun. Mildly offensive name for an idiot or contemptible person. Often heard used affectionately.
total	Verb. To wreck, usually with reference to a vehicle. E.g."That's the third car I've totalled this year, and I wasn't speeding this time." [Orig. U.S.]
totally hatstand	Adj. Crazy, mad, insane. Adaptation of 'completely hatstand' from Viz comic. Cf. 'completely hatstand' and 'hatstand'.
to the max	Phrs. Totally, completely, to the limit.
totty	Noun. Sexually alluring female or females, also applied, these days, to males. Originally a term for a prostitute in late 1800s. E.g."There was plenty of totty at the party."
touching cloth	Phrs. Have an urgent need defecate.
touch up	Verb. To sexually molest, to grope. E.g."The priest has been touching up the choir boys again."
tough!	Adj. Short for tough luck!, a sarcastic and bitter exclamation.
tough cookie	Noun. A strong unyielding person.
tough guy	Noun. A particularly hard and unyielding male, scared of little and acting so.
tough nut	Noun. A difficult or obstinate person.
tough shit!	Exclam. Hard luck! Often expressed with irony. Cf. 'hard-shit'.
tough titty!	Exclam. Hard luck! Cf. 'tough shit'.
towel-head	Noun. An Arab, from the headwear worn by Arabs in the Middle East. Also towelhead. Offens and derog.
town bike	Noun. A promiscuous woman from the local district. Cf. 'bike'. Derog.
townie	Noun. A person, usually young, who typically wears casual, brand-name sportswear, such as Nike, Addidas and Reebok etc Usually associated with town/city dwellers. Also towny. Mainly derog.
toyboy	Noun. A woman's evidently younger male lover.
tracky	Noun. Tracksuit. E.g."Can I borrow your tracky bottoms? Mine are in the wash." {Informal}
Tracy	Noun. A disparaging name for a female considered to be working class, unintelligent, vulgarly dressed and generally below the social standards acceptable to the user of the phrase. Frequently heard used in conjunction with 'Sharon'. See 'Sharon and Tracy'. Derog.
trade	Noun. 1. A sexual partner or collective term for such. [Gay use] 2. A prostitutes term for their sexual partners as business.
tradesman's entrance	Noun. The anus, the back passage. Traditionally tradesman delivered their goods or services via the backdoor, not the main entrance as used by paying customers.
trainspotter	Noun. Generally a usually intelligent but particularly anally retentive person; the person may be obsessed with trivia or have a keen interest in collecting particular objects or data, such as trainspotting, stamp collecting etc. Originates from the much ridiculed hobby of rail enthusiasts, trainspotting, the viewing and taking note of trains from station platforms. The expression was popular on the club scene at which a trainspotter will be seen watching DJ's, spotting which tracks are played and gleaning knowledge on the music for future reference. Derog. Cf 'anorak' and 'nerd'.
tramlines	Noun. The scars created by the constant injection of illicit drugs.
trannie	Noun. 1. A cross-dresser, usually male wearing female attire, and adopting feminine characteristics. Abb. of transvestite. Cf. 'tv'. 2. A transexual. 3. A transistor radio. [1960s] 4. A Ford transit van. Also tranny.
tranks	Noun. Tranquillizers.
trap off	Verb. To attain a liason with a sexually desirable person. Also just phrased as trap.
trap	Noun. The mouth. E.g."Shut your trap you noisy bugger."
trashed	Adj. 1. Worn-out. 2. Very intoxicated by drink or drugs and consequently worse for wear. [Orig. U.S.]
treacle	Noun. An affectionate term of address, more prevalent in London.
treader	Noun. A bicycle.
tree hugger	Noun. An environmentalist, a green activist.
tribal	Noun. A type of 'house' music which is very rhythmic and deep. [Orig. U.S.]
trick	Noun. 1. A prostitutes client. 2. A casual sexual encounter. [Mainly gay use]
trick cyclist	Noun. A pun on psychiatrist.
triffic !	Exclam. Excellent! A contraction of terrific.
triffid	Noun. Any large or sprawling plant, usually a house plant. From The Day of the Triffids by John Wyndham.
trip	Noun. 1. The time spent under the influence of a hallucinatory drug such as LSD. {Informal}. 2. A 'tab' of LSD. Verb. To hallucinate on LSD or other hallucinogen.
triphop	Noun. Variety of dance music that draws its influences from 'hip-hop' and 'house', but being deeper and a little more orientated towards listening.
trippy	Adj. Of or like the experiences and qualities felt under the influence of hallucinogens.
trog	Noun. An ugly, uncouth person. Derived from troglodyte.
troll	Noun. An ugly person, usually referring to a woman.
trolley dolly	Noun. An airline flight attendant, mainly applied to females. Mainly derog.
trolleyed	Adj. Very intoxicated by drink or drugs. An extension of 'off one's trolley'.
trolleys	Noun. Underwear, specifically knickers and underpants. [1950s]
tromboning	Noun. A sexual act performed on a male, whereby the partner orally stimulates the males anus from behind, whilst masturbating the male's penis.
tromp	Verb. To trudge, to walk. E.g."I'm worn out, having tromped around the shops for the last 6 hours."
trots	Noun. Having diarrhoea. The origins are quite apparent, the need to hurry to the toilet with sickness. Cf. `runs'.
trouble and strife	Noun. Wife. Cockney rhyming slang.
trough	Verb. To eat. The imagery is of eating like an animal.
trouser	Verb. To pocket. E.g."Chris trousered all his winnings and left the casino with no chance to win back their losses."
trouser cough	Noun. An emmision of intestinal gases from the anus, a 'fart'.
(the) trouser department	Noun. The male genitals.
trousered	Adj. Drunk, or very intoxicated.
trousers	Adj. Nonsense, gibberish.
trouser snake	Noun. Euphemism for the penis. A shortening of 'one-eyed trouser-snake'.
trouser tent	Noun. A penile erection, when visible beneath clothing.
trout	Noun. An unattractive woman, often prefixed with old. Derog.
trump	Verb. To break wind from the anus, to 'fart'. E.g."There's a disgusting smell in here. Has someone trumped?" Noun. 1. An act of breaking wind. 2. The resulting smell of having broke wind from the anus, a 'fart'.
trumpton	Noun. The fire brigade. After the children's UK television programme of the same name, circa 1960s. [Police use]
T.T.F.N.	Abb. Ta ta for now. Goodbye for now. See 'ta-ta'.
tubby	Noun. A fat person, often of short stature. Not necessarily derogatory.
tube	Noun. A contemptible or idiotic person. [Scottish use]
tub of lard	Noun. A fat person. Cf. 'lardarse'. Derog.
tuck	Noun. Food. {Informal}
tuck in	Verb. To eat, usually with enthusiasm. E.g."To start the day I love tucking into a full English breakfast." {Informal}
tuck shop	Noun. A confectioners, a sweet shop. Children's expression.
tug	Noun. An act of male masturbation.
tummy banana	Noun. A penis. Juvenile expression.
tumshie	Noun. A turnip. [Scottish use]
tuned to the moon	Phrs. Of a person, crazy, eccentric. [Scottish use]
tup	Verb. 1. To have sexual intercourse. 2. To headbutt. E.g."He said my girlfriend looked like Quasimodo, so I tupped him." [Wigan use]
turd	Noun. 1. A lump of faeces. Derived from the Anglo-Saxon tord. [1000s] 2. A contemptible person. E.g."That new bloke in accounts is a right turd, fawning all over the receptionist."
turd burglar	Noun. A homosexual male. Derog./Offens.
turd fish	Noun. A lump of faecal excrement, when viewed floating in water.
turf	Noun. The area felt to belong to a person or gang.
turf out	Verb. To expel a thing or a person, to throw out. E.g."Haven't you turfed out that broken chair yet?" {Informal}
turkey	Noun. A stupid or idiotic person. [Orig. U.S. 1940s]
turnip	Noun. 1. An idiot. 2. The head.
turn-off	Verb. To disgust. Noun. A thing that is disgusting.
turn-on	Verb. To excite, often sexually. Noun. Something that excites.
turn over	Verb. To rob by ransacking a premises. E.g."The library got turned over at the weekend and three computers got stolen."
turtle's head	Noun. See 'have a turtle's head'.
tut	Noun. Rubbish, nonsense. E.g."Whatever he told you about me is just a load of tut." or "I think we need to clear up all this tut before your parents arrive."
TV	Noun. Abb. of transvestite. Cf. 'trannie'.
twag	Verb. To play traunt. E.g."No wonder he failed his exams, he's been twagging for most of the last year." [Hull/Lincolnshire use]
twannock	Noun. An idiot, an objectionable person. [Yorkshire use]
twat	Noun. 1. The female genitals. [1600s] 2. A contemptible person, an idiot. Verb. To hit, to thump. E.g."I twatted him before he had chance to twat me."
twat face	Noun. A contemptible person.
twatfaced	Adj. Intoxicated with alcohol or drugs.
twatted	Adj. Very intoxicated due to alcohol or drugs.
twatting	Adj./Adv. A general intensifier. E.g."You wouldn't twatting believe the colour of her car, it's pink and it matches her hair."
twentyfour-seven	Noun. All the time. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
twernt	Noun. Anatomically, the area between the genitals and the anus. Derived from the expression "if it twernt there your guts would fall out".
twerp	Noun. An imbecile, a fool. Fairly inoffensive term. Also twirp.
twig	Verb. To understand, to realise. E.g."Once I saw the look on her face I twigged it was a joke." {Informal}
twilight zone	Noun. The term phrased in recognition of a bizarre occurrence. Taken from the title of the U.S. television mystery sci-fi series of the same name. Often used in conjunction with a vocal rendition of the theme tune, to add emphasis.
twine on	Verb. To rant, talk incessantly. E.g."Stop twining on and get on with your job, we've a deadline to make."
twinkle	Noun. A term of endearment or form of address.
twinnie	Noun. Affectionate term for a twin.
twirly	Noun. A senior citizen, or OAP (old age pensioner). Originally bus driver's slang, from supposed senior citizen's regular attempts at using their cheap off-peak journey passes before the permitted off-peak hour, and therefore being "too early" (a verbal corruption of). E.g."How can I keep the bus on schedule when at every bus stop I have to refuse all the twirlies." Also twearly, twearlies.
twisting	Noun. A telling off, a scolding, a reprimand.
twit	Noun. An idiot. Patronising and derogatory but often jocular.
twitchell	Noun. A narrow alleyway. [Nottinghamshire use]
twitcher	Noun. A bird watcher, an ornithologist.
two and eight	Noun. State, or condition. Cockney rhyming slang. E.g."He was in a right two and eight, having drunk 12 pints of lager in 3 hours."
two bob bit	Noun. An act of defecation. Rhyming slang on 'shit'. In pre-decimal currency, a 'bob' was slang for a shilling (5 pence), and a 'two bob bit' being a two shilling coin, usually called a Florin. See 'bob' (noun).
TWOC	Acronym. Taking WithOut Consent. Originally and usually applied to the stealing of vehicles. Originates from the proliferation of car theft in the UK during the 1990s.
two cans short of a picnic	Phrs. Of a person, eccentric, insane.
twocker	Noun. A person who steals vehicles. Also spelt twoc-er. See 'TWOC'.
two finger salute	Noun. The insulting hand gesture which involves raising the hand with two fingers extended vertically. See 'two fingers'.
two fingers	Noun. The insulting gesture of the V-sign using two fingers. Cf. 'finger' (noun 2).
twonk	Noun. A fool, idiot.
two sandwiches short of a picnic	Phrs. Eccentric, insane, odd. Also phrased as one sandwich short of a picnic.
two's (up) !	Exclam. Said to put claim on a share of something, often a drink or cigarette. Noun. Second opportunity to have a turn with something. E.g."Can I have two's on your cigarette?"
two ticks	Noun. A short time, a couple of moments. See 'tick'.
two-time	Verb. To be unfaithful to one's partner. E.g."He's been two-timing on his girlfriend for the last 6 months."
twunt	Noun. An idiot, a fool. A combination of the words 'twat' and 'cunt'. [1990s]
tyke	Noun. 1. A person from Yorkshire, England. 2. A mischevious person, used in good humour.